A new phase is about to begin and as it is with most major events, I am not so overwhelmed with emotions as I should be. I am excited and happy but I am also indifferent.
It's just a defense or coping mechanism...I think. One built over the years. I mean, who wouldn't be super duper excited to be getting married to an amazing friend.
My perfectionist side kicks in once in a while and wonders if I'm ready for the journey ahead. The thought that soon, someone will call me "Husband" ๐จand then a little later, "Daddy"? *screams internally*
The thoughts are more amusing than eye-popping. I look forward to going out and not bothering about having to drive 'her' home first and ensuring she's safe before heading back home because now we'll be heading to the same home.
I can't wait to wake up beside the love of my life.
I can't wait to make important life decisions with her.
I also can't wait to tell the kids to "pass me the remote" beside me.
I can't wait to say "Put it on my head" when they ask where to keep the meat we bought from the market ๐
I can't wait to look for 'her' trouble and sprinkle water on her while she oversleeps on weekend mornings.
I look forward to the arguments for they will come and amicably resolving them.
I look forward to swallowing my pride and ego to apologize when I am wrong.
I look forward to sex, not as a fulfillment of marital obligation, but an expression and outpouring of my genuine and sincere love for 'her'.
I look forward to being the spiritual marshal of my household.
I look forward to sharing victories and down-times, happy moments and sad ones.
I am uncertain of what the future holds but I am certain that with God, my family and I are sorted.
As with most [if not all things] with God, we never get the full picture at the start but as we keep trusting Him daily, he reveals what is required for the next phase and just like every door that leads to the next phase, here I am Lord, seeking your guidance. I am just human, flawed as one can be.
Lord, hear me today and let your grace, mercy and Love prevail.
Thursday, June 22, 2017
New Phase Awaits...
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