Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Is Chivalry Dead?

I write this with great worry and
Okay, firstly I'm posting this from my e-mail so pardon me if it doesn't come out well formatted. Uggh! Phone typing is just major stress but I'll try as I don't want this to go just like that.
So back to the topic which is as clear as can be and I'll appreciate your honest feedback. I ask again, 'Is Chivalry dead???' Or is it on life support?
("Chivalry - the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms...")
So what prompted this post is the seemingly subtle yet obvious rebellion against the 'perfect gentleman'. I had a discussion with a friend of mine and we drifted into guys being gentlemanly and all and she just poured out her mind of how she can't just stand a guy acting all nicey and opening doors for her and the unbearable chair-pulling stunts at the dinner table, to mention a few.
I remember Relentless' recent post on if there was existence of the Perfect Nigerian Gentleman.
Another scenario was in a church setting where the topic of what a guy looks for in a lady and vice versa was discussed. It was clear from the various opinions that most ladies were not fans of the 'Mr Nice' type of guy. In fact, the results took me aback and I was forced to think and come up with logical reasons to support why that was so.
We're in the times where trends show women breaking grounds in areas formerly seen as male territory in Career, business, government and many more sectors.
I personally offered to help a lady carrying two bags (laptop bag and handbag) with her laptop bag but she refused. Same lady, same scenario, different day, I gladly did not bother offering to help carry the bag as I guessed what the response would be. This time around she asked why I didn't go ahead to offer to help.
Shocked I gave the reason which was as result of the previous 'elah' and we laughed about it but she suggested that I should still had asked.
Men are natural protectors and want to show off that part of themselves to women by offering assistance to do some things for them. Although motives could vary, but I still think its cool to accept help when its offered.
So do you think Chivalry is dead? On life support? Or its has just simply been redefined in this present times.
Would love to hear your views...
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN



  1. i think it depends on individuals. personally, i still find it sweet when guys open doors

  2. Yea I agree with you on that. It's an individual thing.

  3. Its a personal thing joo. I want my husband to spoil me and offer all those helps and all o.

  4. Chivalry is not dead. I may not accept all help from strangers, male or female, but as I know them better I can trust their motives.

  5. There is nothing wrong in playing the chivalry. I am a kind of a guy who prides himself in that and that a lady does not like it won't make me stop being myself. The core truth is just for one to remain true to one's self without playing chivalry to get at something.


  6. There is nothing wrong in playing the chivalry. I am a kind of a guy who prides himself in that and that a lady does not like it won't make me stop being myself. The core truth is just for one to remain true to one's self without playing chivalry to get at something.

  7. Naijamum in LondonDecember 2, 2012 at 5:17 PM

    Chivalry is on life support
    So many ladies have an aloof 'I can do it all by myself' OR 'I'm a strong woman' attitude that puts off men who want to be chivalrous.
    As for me, I believe in chivalry. Men and women can never be the same.

  8. funny dude..

    Myne said it all.

  9. Yep, I'll assume you're in sync with her too.

  10. I like the idea of giving people a chance too. You never know...

  11. That's true NIL. Men and women mustn't be the same sef. It would just be a boring world.

  12. I like the concept of you staying true to your real self. Nothing is as good as that cuz real motives always get revealed in the end. Thanks for stopping by.

  13. Chivalry is not dead, and the world still needs chivalrous men. However, I think women are now more independent, and for some of them, independence means doing just about everything for themselves, including those 'acts' you mentioned.

    I personally love it. Not every man opens doors for me, but I am pretty impressed by the ones that do. It shows some thoughtfulness which is not common nowadays.

  14. I'll agree with you on the rise of independent women and the drop in level of thoughtfulness these days. Maybe there's still hope for chivalry to survive through these harsh times. I wonder what our children will think of chivalry by the time we're old...

  15. i think chivalry is on life support. Most men don't do it anymore...And i am surprised by the response you got from the ladies, i am one of the girls that wants it.

  16. I guess you mean preferring chivalrous men. Refreshing to know that at least theres hope lol

  17. I think we have entered a time when that chivalrous type of behavior should not just be expected of men. There's nothing wrong with a woman opening doors for men, or helping women or possibly men carry things. Its all about being considerate in general. As far as men being chilvalrous towards me, I appreciate it as long as it doesn't seem like they're over doing it or trying to prove some point.

    And pardon me, but I've rarely encountered a chivalrous Nigerian man. It always seemed to be a western concept that never fully seeped into the Nigerian culture. Times are changing though...


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