My first playlet...for your viewing

Hello peeps, I had the chance to do a few blog rounds this morning and was able to drop a few comments on some blogs.

I recently volunteered to write a short playlet for a church which would be acted on stage this Sunday. Before I submit, I have uploaded it here for your critic and polishing.
Kindly help point out things you feel need to be changed, things you enjoyed, etc.
The theme is centered around Youths/Teenagers and Peer Pressure.

Here's it:
 
INT – The Adetola Family Sitting Room

SCENE 1

(Bisi is in the sitting room curled up in the sofa/chair reading a book)
 (drops the book on the floor out of boredom)

(Mrs Adetola, her mum walks in and meets Bisi on way to kitchen)

Mum: What have you been doing all day?

Bisi: Reading this book, it’s about…’Building…never mind ma.

Mum: You know what, I’ve been thinking…(she pauses and continues)…Bisi, I can barely count the friends you have, if you have any that is.

Bisi: Mum, here you go again (shyly faces down, right hand on neck) --->; was trying to depict the body language.

(Bisi continues)

Bisi: At least I have Damola.

Mum: The one that dropped out in SS2 (sarcastic look)

Bisi: What of Chisom?

Mum: The one that ran away from home?

Bisi: Well, there’s Farida…

Mum: You haven’t heard from her since she moved out two years ago…Just look at all those you mentioned. Just imagine the kind of ‘beings’ you surround yourself with!

Mum: You just sit at home doing nothing, reading all sorts of…(she picks up the book and bursts into laughter)…’Building self what? (hiss).

Bisi: But mum…I just…

(Mrs Adetola interrupts)

Mum: You just what…you just what, you think this is how you build self confidence, by reading this nonsense. Do you want to end up like your father? EHN! Damilohun! You this girl that has refused to wake up!

(she continues)

Look at Cynthia, yuppie girl, see how useful and useless boys chase after her up and down the street but even flies refuse to chase you.

Bisi: But mum I don’t have nice clothes like she does and her father is rich with big cars and…

Mum: Bisi, just shut up! Shut that mouth of yours…Her father has big cars and this and this and that…what rubbish is dropping from your mouth?

Know this, your dignity is not in the clothes you wear, it’s in how you carry yourself with the little you have. Get that straight into your skull!

(Mrs Adetola walks out angrily)

Bisi: Oh God...I'm fed up! what do I do…?

SCENE 2

(Bisi is answering a phone call of some party invitation by Cynthia)

(ends call in excitement as Chinedu walks in with friend, Adamu)

Chinedu: You look so excited, share the news…and by the way meet Adamu or ‘Dames-man’ for short

(Bisi looks puzzled)

Bisi: For short? I think I’ll stick with Adamu. *stretches hand to greet Adamu*

Chinedu: Cynthia told me she invited you for the party and I was so surprised you know.

Bisi: Why? How do you mean?

Chinedu: Anyways, that’s aside, lemme have your PIN?

Bisi: Safety or Office PIN? (innocent puzzled look)

(Chinedu and his friend, Adamu exchange puzzled looks and shake head in disappointment)

Chinedu: What planet are you from you this girl?! I’m just disappointed and amazed at the depth of your ignorance… (pauses and sighs)

Chinedu: (continues) …I’m not comfortable being your friend! You’re just a stale girl jor! The way you dress sef, I’m just managing (loud hiss and faces away from her).

(Instrumentalist mimics Superstory soundtrack) This is for comic relief since this is a tensed part.

Bisi: (stammers and talks slowly) P…Please Chinedu, I…I just want to go with you to the party; I don’t want to be alone at home. (sobs)

Chinedu: Bisi! Bisi! (holds head in frustration) . Enough of this crap from you. Just see how pathetic you sound!

Adamu: Let’s go man, I’ve had enough for today.

(Bisi drops on her knees and sobs in regret)

(rises up in anger and faces audience)

Bisi: Now listen all of you! I have had enough. Who do I choose from? What do I do to catch up? I’m confused of the many opinions…

Where is my IDENTITY?!

(Sobs loudly and exits stage)

(curtains fall) If there’s one :-)

(THE END)

Please drop your honest comments below. No sweet words, say it just as you see it. I have till Saturday to make changes. Love you all!